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Chris Mac


Member

Posted Wed Jan 28th, 2009 8:33pm Post subject: Premature Burial
A Poem by Chris Mac



Premature Burial

by Chris Mac



The knock came loudly
Upsetting my nerve
Rain soaked jacket
Four by four reversed.
They’d come for me early
I expected the worst,
But no, she had knocked
Stirred from her curse.

Arriving on St Andrews Hill
I saw them surrounding
Her tomb quite still,
Save for the magpie
That swooped down low
Over dripping burnt orchids
Did they know?
The digger was primed
All ready to go
The sorrow I felt
For my love down below.

The raps came quick
Muffled but strong,
Two raps for right
Only one for wrong.
‘Are you alive?’
I tore out the words
She knocked twice
Or so we heard.
Her voice, she spoke?
She cried ‘let me free’,
As the bodies stood back
For machinery.

They toiled they drove,
Mounds of reddened earth,
Like a larva being dug out
Of the crust of dead men’s hearts.
Six feet under, more like eight,
Ploughing on to Heaven’s gate,
My beautiful friend,
A life without end,
Reunited , scars to mend,
Pulled out of the vest
Of eternal rest,
Flesh bountiful, still kissable
breathing, undressed.



The magpie came by
With curious eye
Upon my lonesome state.
And old Mrs Pruest
Wrapped up in leather
With rain soddened lillies
No dampening of pride
Clutched hold of my arm
Clawing out goodbye
To Stanton Pruest-Hyde
And Alice my bride,
We walked down the hill,
Side by side,
Leaving behind
Our world that had died.




It's a poem about lost love and unbearable loneliness.Let me know what you think. I wont be offended or become low if you think and say you think it's awful.

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PamJH


Member

Posted Wed Jan 28th, 2009 11:49pm Post subject: Premature Burial
It's not awful, so no need to feel low.

I like the rain imagery. I can imagine an anguished day, with rain pelting the mourners who are standing aside for the digging equipment. I also see a blind, impossible hope that the girl is still alive.

And the magpie? Good touch.

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Nitro


Member

Posted Thu Jan 29th, 2009 1:48am Post subject: Premature Burial
[i




It's a poem about lost love and unbearable loneliness.Let me know what you think. I wont be offended or become low if you think and say you think it's awful.

No offense Chris, but this sort of disclaimer is, imho, slightly unreasonable. You are posting in a public forum and, btw, I do not know of many writers who become better writers in absence of criticism..

Really? Wow.

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Chris Mac


Member

Posted Thu Jan 29th, 2009 2:59am Post subject: Premature Burial
I wasn't meaning to be unreasonable Nitro. Perhaps nervous as it was my first post here. An 'absence of criticism' is precisely why I asked for ...criticism, albeit good or not so good. But thanks for your thoughts on the matter.


...and thankyou Pam.

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