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greentree
Member
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Posted Tue Jul 6th, 2010 9:11am Post subject: Question re therapy.....
I'm in a bit of a quandry......
When i first got ill and saw a psych, he was talking about referring me for NHS psychotherapy, and said that the waiting list here could be up to two years. That was back in March 2009 (i'd been ill since Oct 2008 by that point). I couldn't really wait for that length of time, and started seeing someone privately in Nov last year. I like her, we get on, and are getting stuff done together.
Lo and behold, the psychotherapy assessment has come through.....have had two assessments so far, and from what the psychologist was saying yesterday, she'd be happy to take me on and start 'treatment' (as she calls it). Now there might be a bit of a wait for this until the autumn....... but i don't want to stop seeing the private woman......
And i dont' know what to do. Can you see two people at once? The private women does person centered therapy, the NHS woman does psychoanalytic psychotherapy..... am guessing there would be some sort of conflict between the two...don't know though......
And would feel guilty as hell at stopping seeing the private woman cos it would seem like i'd only been seeing her until the NHS thing came through, which wasn't really the case cos the psychotherapy was never guaranteed anyway (depended on the assessment).....
Aaaaaarrrgrhhhhhhh!!!!! Don't know what to do!! 
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marzgirl
Member
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Posted Tue Jul 6th, 2010 5:05pm Post subject: Question re therapy.....
I do not see a conflict. They each provide something different and the combination might help you even more.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
~Martin Luther King Jr.~
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gadgetgirl
Member
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Posted Wed Jul 7th, 2010 2:36pm Post subject: Question re therapy.....
If you don't want to stop seeing the private analyst then don't! Go along to the other and see what they have to say, you'll be in a better position to work things out then. But I wouldn't give up treatment that's working for you.
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katysara
Moderator
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Posted Wed Jul 7th, 2010 7:07pm Post subject: Question re therapy.....
I'd see what the NHS one has to say but I wouldn't stop seeing the private one... but there is a quandry.
I was once in a similar situation myself, receiving private therapy for depression and NHS therapy for my anorexia. Two totally different things you may think, no possible problem of there being a problem. But my therapists, who were aware of each other were not happy about treating someone who was seeing another therapist. The eating disorder therapist actually threatened to stop my treatment unless I just saw her alone because it was causing us to work at "cross purposes" at times. In the end that is what I did (I didn't know then that I was bipolar or that that was the bigger problem).
I'm not saying this will happen to you but I am saying be wary. Therapists don't like other therapists treating their patient...
KSx
I am an administrator on this site.
"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry
See my website: www.katysaraculling.com
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heatherthevet
Member
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Posted Wed Jul 7th, 2010 9:42pm Post subject: Question re therapy.....
I would talk to your private therapist about it and see what she says. Skirting around the issue won't help you at all. You'll be so busy thinking about that it will distract you from what you should be working on. You sound like you trust her, so you won't want to be evasive I'm sure.
From experience, having therapy with two different people is complicated, distracting and unhelpful.
From experience of the other side, if you are one of a team of people working with someone then that works pretty well, if people from different teams try to therapise the same person then it isn't great.
Just go and put your cards on the table - be brave, be honest and see what happens.
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greentree
Member
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Posted Wed Jul 7th, 2010 10:13pm Post subject: Question re therapy.....
Thanks peeps....
Fortunately (!) i see the NHS woman before the private one, and the more i think about it, the more i think i am gonna have to tell her that i've been seeing someone privately whilst going through their (slow) system.
We are still only at the assessment stage, so she's not obliged to keep seeing me i guess. If she asks why i shall say the truth - it was cos the NHS referral took so long to come through. And i wasn't really in a position to wait.
I hate lying, and i hate more the feeling that i'm not being honest. It would make me feel awful......
But telling the NHS woman is going to be equally awful - she's scary....
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heatherthevet
Member
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Posted Wed Jul 7th, 2010 11:31pm Post subject: Question re therapy.....
Don't worry Greentree, she can't hurt you. And if it goes nasty you still have the lovely Mrs Private.
Here's the thing - you haven't done ANYTHING wrong. So you don't need to be ashamed to tell her that you had to see somebody else. I'm sure this will not not be the first time the situation has arisen.
Don't lie, and don't apologise either - you did what you had to do, it's not like you had much choice. Go speak your truth and be proud of yourself for being so bloody brave in the first place.
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yalom
Member
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Posted Fri Jul 9th, 2010 3:16pm Post subject: Question re therapy.....
greentree said:
Thanks peeps....
Fortunately (!) i see the NHS woman before the private one, and the more i think about it, the more i think i am gonna have to tell her that i've been seeing someone privately whilst going through their (slow) system.
We are still only at the assessment stage, so she's not obliged to keep seeing me i guess. If she asks why i shall say the truth - it was cos the NHS referral took so long to come through. And i wasn't really in a position to wait.
I hate lying, and i hate more the feeling that i'm not being honest. It would make me feel awful......
But telling the NHS woman is going to be equally awful - she's scary....
As if life isn't hard enough.
It can be difficult working with more than one therapist but not impossible. Remember that the person at the centre of all this is you. Your needs are the priority not the therapists. Even with two therapists you can only be on one therapeutic journey at a time. If you share you breakthroughs equally with both therapists, they should be able to work it out.
Tell them what you want from them. How they deliver it is their problem, not yours.
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greentree
Member
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Posted Fri Aug 6th, 2010 9:23pm Post subject: Question re therapy.....
Well the psychotherpay isn't going to start till Oct/Nov, or possibly later.... but i told the private woman anyway. I'd have felt bad not telling her, and i honestly can't afford to see her much longer anyway, so there was a valid reason for ending. Just not this soon.
Anyhow, the private woman was great; thinks i'd be mad not to take the psychotherapy (oh the irony....), so we're working to Christmas being the end, but it might be sooner. In my head, the end is the end of October, but we'll see. It's all a bit weird.....
I don't think you can really work with two people at the same time, purely cos of the head space needed for processing everything. So it's one only....
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