You know your family won't be the only one that will be upset, everyone here that has read all your posts about what you are going to do will be upset too.
I'm going to say what everyone else dare not say now...
To be honest I think it's grossly unfair of you to come on here and blatantly worry and distress everyone here with your plans. Everyone else reading this has had either suicidal thoughts or attempted suicide themselves [I've done both].
I'm not saying I don't sympathise with you - I do
greatly, I know exactly how you feel I've been to that point many, many times in my life but you have to think about the people who are reading this who also may have similar thoughts now or in the past - how do you think
we feel who are reading your posts?
And we don't even know you, what would those that love you feel like?
I don't think you're selfish, I've had that same argument myself about suicide etc. but it is selfish in my view to casually mention to a bunch of strangers that you're going to kill yourself and expect them to support you all the way.
Just because we've thought the same or had similar experiences doesn't mean it isn't a terrible thing to do to yourself and those around you.
In fact because many people will understand your position and your feelings it makes it worse.
No-one wants to die, not even me and there are times every day when I just can't bear the pain anymore - I write a mental and sometimes physical suicide note every day and go into agonies of what it would do to my family but I struggle on, I have to.
I totally understand that feeling of life you are only living because you don't want to hurt others.
However much you think it has badly affected your family and friends now, it will be
nothing to what your death in such a way will affect them hereafter. You are condemning them to a lifetime of pain and suffering. They WON'T just "get over it".
You are in pain now I know, but to inflict a lifetime of pain on others is
selfish.
I'm sorry if you are hurt by this but this is how I feel. hate me if you want, but I've been reading your posts the last few weeks and getting more and more upset by them, it hurts me to see someone write like that and I don't know you from Adam.
I truly hope you try and find some peace, some equilibrium, some hope.
My heart goes out to you, truly but please think before you write such things.
