I dropped by here again today, just because...
To be honest I don't really know why...
In some ways I think it was to see if I belonged. When I left it was because I felt I didn't not having suffered from bipolar. In some ways I think I needed to see how far I've travelled and in which direction since being here last.
I found a couple of really good friends on here, but also a lot of people who I found just kept reminding me of how grim things can be and that can be a problem when you're trying to blast the black clouds away on the off chance that there might be some sunshine lurking behind them. There is, but it's not always as warming or brilliant as I would like it to be, nor as frequent, but that's British weather for you.
And now, having dropped by I don't know what I feel other than profoundly sad with furrows in my brow and tear banking up trying to find a hole big enough to burst into the floods that are warranted. And they are warranted because such forums shouldn't be needed as no one should ever be so alone they have no other place to turn, no one in their lives to trust.
I guess in that respect I always did belong here, but I can't stay as it's reminding me too much of really sad times which are best left behind me now. I only hope that everyone here finds good friends as I did. They made a huge difference to me so much so that for the most part I've been doing ok. Not quite to the extent of eradicating deep lows from my life, but at least they don't seem quite so deep, quite so intense and don't seem to last quite so long as they used to.
Onwards... just keep going... onwards.
All best wishes to one and all on your journeys.
May they all bring lovely new things for you to explore and end in a joyous, healthy, happy life.
It's the one who haven't been assessed I'm scared of!