|
| Reply to topic
|
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
Posted Tue Aug 21st, 2007 8:58pm Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
sorry to sound so open-ended and philosophical.
i was just wondering, what are everyone's goals? i'm sure they are all different. in one of these threads we were talking about continuing to work, and how that may be seen as not having an illness that disrupts one's life.
but a lot of people can still work while being in a bad bad state. (me, for one)
and work is not my life. i'm an artist, and have a second career outside my job. i want more than existing, i want more than ... being on life support. i have gigantic ideas for a while and then i have me lying on the floor can't get up. :-// is that to be expected? and is it good enough to just be alive? that's kind of sad...when someone asks me how my weekend was and i'm thinking "well, i'm still here!" 
uhhhh.... i don't know what's up with the smiley faces. dark humor?
so, what's the best you all hope for? and what's "managing"?
|
| Back to top |
|
tracy8673
Member
|
Posted Tue Aug 21st, 2007 9:44pm Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
Banjo - where to start?
I guess life expectations will vary infinately. Until I had my son, I wondered what the point of it all was. Now I have an absolute purpose and although it may seem dreary to some who may be more ambitious in life - as long as I do a good job as a Mum, I'll die happy. I just want him to have a happy childhood with a wealth of opportunities and happy experiences. I went to university not knowing what I wanted out of life - left university not knowing what to do with my degree. I don't want to change the world. All I personally care about is that those I love and care about are happy. I'm lucky enough to have a job that I absolutely love (and fell into quite accidently) but primarily, it is a means to an end. I can't imagine ever doing anything else (the thought actually terrifies me - going out into the big, bad world).
I'm afraid I've no hope of even touching upon an answer to your question - I can only speak about my own experience. However, I can relate to how you are feeling as it is how I felt before having my son. I guess I used to just muddle through. It was always important for me (and still is now) to try to plan things to look forward to. Whether it was a holiday, visit to see friends, going to a concert, whatever - I need to have stuff to look forward to on the calendar.
I'm sorry if this is totally unhelpful.
Tracy x
|
| Back to top |
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
Posted Tue Aug 21st, 2007 10:07pm Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
tracy,
that's really helpful... especially to know that you felt like me in the past! maybe one day it will be the past for me, too.
thanks for answering. i like hearing what others' hopes are, it gives me perspective and opens my eyes to what life has to offer.
|
| Back to top |
|
Saturn
Member
|
Posted Wed Aug 22nd, 2007 1:19pm Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
Personally my main goals are and have always have been personal fulfillment and development - social life, friends, family and all that stuff.
I want to be able to learn who I am, where I'm going before I make any plans for the future.
Often times it's so bleak that I can't even foresee the next day and just grab at the smallest thing that will enable me to make it through that day.
I live clutching from one straw to the next at the moment I'm afraid I have no idea what I'll be feeling like in five minutes time never mind tomorrow or next week etc.
|
| Back to top |
|
Fourth Feline
Member
|
Posted Wed Aug 22nd, 2007 4:12pm Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
Just now my goals are :
1) Survive each day : - and in each day, make my pets happy whilst reclaiming some joy or get absorbed in something I once loved doing.
2) To try and make sure my elderly Mother and older brother get well looked after by me in the years to come.
3 ) To one day find leaving the house and mingling with the public effortless, To regain my previous confidence
4) To eventually re-integrate into society, as effectively as I used to - even to the point of being able to work again in sustainable manner.
5) To play in a band again.
6) To find a partner
7) To claim back some of that which the last 30 + years of bad mental health has taken.
8 ) To die naturally, having conquered these dark times.
F.F.
|
| Back to top |
|
martyn7
Member
|
Posted Tue Aug 28th, 2007 4:51am Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
Hello, sounds to me that your very highly creative, and the cycles of having huge ideas followed by nothingness is to me a natural creative cycle, however that dont mean its not a tough one to handle and to be in. I see the down side of my creativity as an empty whiteboard in my imagination, this is the calm before the storm phase. I even sense my soul popping off somewhere and getting ready to create. Then when my soul returns I am bursting with energy and creative juices, cant sleep, dont need to sleep,
i call this cycle, breathing in and out of life
take care
Martyn
|
| Back to top |
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
Posted Tue Aug 28th, 2007 5:45am Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
|
| Back to top |
|
seasun545
Member
|
Posted Tue Aug 28th, 2007 9:30am Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
Hi people,
Not in my best mood to join this thread, that´s why I haven´t posted anything yet, but it´s really interesting. It reminds me something my mother used to say and I always remember,heart touching words for me, and funny too. She used to say her life was so empty, cause she had done and seen so little things, that when she´d die and go to heaven, Saint Peter (the apostol who holds the keys of heaven to let people in..) was going to kick her out back to earth telling her: "Go back there, you fool woman!, there´s lot of things yet to be done you haven´t even tried, you´ve wasted your life!!! (in a very angry-deep-terrifying voice). Unfortunately, looks like Saint Peter lets everybody in and doesn´t kick anyboody out.
Ah and as some spanish intellectual use to say: "I am atheist....thanks God!!!!"
|
| Back to top |
|
La Niña
Member
|
Posted Tue Aug 28th, 2007 9:42am Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
Not to come across as snooty, but I'm proud to admit that this year I've finally put into action the steps in need to take in order to have the life I want.
My social life 8 months ago barely existed becuase my social anxiety and depression made it so that I couldn't look people in the eye without feeling shamefully embarrassed for no reason. It also made my job as a receptionist difficult when I'd mumble and muddle up what I had to say.
Like FourthFeline mentioned, I want my social confidence back and I'm slowly but surely getting there. I've made new friends where I've approached others instead of waiting for them to approach me.
I've pushed my boundaries and see that it is an irrational fear that holds me back and it still does from time to time. But now I'm changing my attitude and finding a better perspective on life. Its very hard, especially in my idle moments when I don't have work or Uni to attend, but I've had so much fun this year compared to the last 4 that I know that I'm doing something right.
So this is my goal: to love my friends and family and not let my depression and anxiety be my life, as it used to be. Oh, and keep learning and trying new things of course! 
|
| Back to top |
|
martyn7
Member
|
Posted Tue Aug 28th, 2007 11:35am Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
Hi people,
Not in my best mood to join this thread, that´s why I haven´t posted anything yet, but it´s really interesting. It reminds me something my mother used to say and I always remember,heart touching words for me, and funny too. She used to say her life was so empty, cause she had done and seen so little things, that when she´d die and go to heaven, Saint Peter (the apostol who holds the keys of heaven to let people in..) was going to kick her out back to earth telling her: "Go back there, you fool woman!, there´s lot of things yet to be done you haven´t even tried, you´ve wasted your life!!! (in a very angry-deep-terrifying voice). Unfortunately, looks like Saint Peter lets everybody in and doesn´t kick anyboody out.
Ah and as some spanish intellectual use to say: "I am atheist....thanks God!!!!"
Hi Peter,
I second your great attitude towards life and living its full potential, interestingly I also find it extremely difficult to sit and watch a movie all the way through. I also tell me friends, if I die now I am very satisified with what I have done in my life. Here's a taster of what I am busy with at the moment, my friends call me crazy and say I will burn out, but its simply not the case, i do these projects with ease...
http://www.thespeaker.eu
http://www.corporatespeaker.eu
http://www.leadershipnow.eu
http://www.theleaderspeaks.com
http://www.themeetingpoint.net
http://www.openrelationship.info
http://www.thespeakerpodcast.com
and the list goes on each with a support forum, busy and loving it.
take care
Martyn[/url]
|
| Back to top |
|
skylight
Member
|
Posted Tue Aug 28th, 2007 5:56pm Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
This is such a hard question to answer. My perspective on things has changed considerably since last year. I used to be ambitious and wanted to study English lit at Cambridge (I'm too stupid though  ) I wanted to do all sorts of things. Since I became depressed or whatever is wrong with me, I have given up on those hopes. All I want to do now is be normal and happy and live an 'average' life doing whatever I can 'around' my mood. Does this make any sense?? My head's a bit fuzzy today.
|
| Back to top |
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
Posted Tue Aug 28th, 2007 7:23pm Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
Hello, sounds to me that your very highly creative, and the cycles of having huge ideas followed by nothingness is to me a natural creative cycle, however that dont mean its not a tough one to handle and to be in. I see the down side of my creativity as an empty whiteboard in my imagination, this is the calm before the storm phase. I even sense my soul popping off somewhere and getting ready to create. Then when my soul returns I am bursting with energy and creative juices, cant sleep, dont need to sleep,
i call this cycle, breathing in and out of life
take care
Martyn
I found what you said really interesting martyn... although sometime the time when I am painting doesn't feel as much like a storm as the time when I am not painting does! 
it's true though... I will get down on myself for not doing enough. All this week or two I haven't painted at all (rare for me) but like pete said, I have to stay busy.
When I am depressed and low energy, I write down some random things I might want to do... even though on the inside, I don't want to do ANYthing. It'll say... read poetry... or, a particular book... or, learn ONE song on the banjo... go look up something I've been curious about.
Learning things really distracts me from feeling depressed... and when I "wake up", I've taken in some knew knowledge, like a surprise gift (this week, it's meeting you guys!)
It feels like going underwater to me... and popping back up.
|
| Back to top |
|
Saturn
Member
|
Posted Tue Aug 28th, 2007 10:34pm Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
it's true though... I will get down on myself for not doing enough. All this week or two I haven't painted at all (rare for me) but like pete said, I have to stay busy.
When I am depressed and low energy, I write down some random things I might want to do... even though on the inside, I don't want to do ANYthing. It'll say... read poetry... or, a particular book... or, learn ONE song on the banjo... go look up something I've been curious about.
Learning things really distracts me from feeling depressed... and when I "wake up", I've taken in some knew knowledge, like a surprise gift (this week, it's meeting you guys!)
It feels like going underwater to me... and popping back up.
I think we were separated at birth banjo 
|
| Back to top |
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
Posted Tue Aug 28th, 2007 11:44pm Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
do you have any extra teeth? because i grew up missing a bunch...
|
| Back to top |
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
Posted Tue Aug 28th, 2007 11:55pm Post subject: so what, for you, is managing? what is a fulfilling life?
Well... I did get into a rut for a while. Marital problems, being apart on two continents, living back with my family, a horrendous knee injury... I lost the focus on what life should be. Big depressed bastard was I, in his best Ypda speak. But now...
Hell, right now I'm involved in a divorce case, I'm having to go to the doctor and have tests for bowel cancer, I buried my father's mother last month, his father has less than a year to live after being diagnosed with terminal cancer three weeks ago, my moving plans have changed and been cancelled because of this, my family rage and bite each other's heads off and I live in s small Wiltshire scumhole... yet I am happy to be alive and playing music and messing around with my band and starting a second degree that covers literature and music, writing fuzz pop albums, reading new authors, embracing new artists that I missed before, watching films, talking to friends, talking to new friends, new recipes, eating sushi... it's life. I feel fulfilled because I'm back on track. I'm never going to be a career man. I'm probably never going to be a father or a mortgaged man or a home owner, have no real desire to be a car driver, don't want new fangled electronic things (well, beyond guitars amps)...
I don't really know. Somehow it's all going to work out. I never did take the straight line option. Any path I take involves meandering and random detours.
|
| Back to top |
