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AwesomeSauceUK


Member

Posted Sun Dec 6th, 2009 12:37pm Post subject: Something I wrote last year.

I've been told it's terrible.... Here goes.

Hi my name is Awesome Sauce, Nice to meet you, how' you doing?
I thought I'd tell you a story, one of pain and suffering,
But also about survival, endurance, perseverance and dignity,
It's not just my story, It can be yours too, it can represent everyone equally.

I wasn't so popular in school, in fact I was always the butt of the joke,
For some reason it was funny to make everything my fault,
I just tried to be nice, friendly and fun, that's all I ever did,
But I was made to feel like I was a misfit, an outcast kid.

Despite that, I got through school, got decent grades, mostly C's and some B's,
At the time all I could think about was how I was finally free,
But looking back on it now, I really miss those years,
The careless days, lunchtime, good times with the cool teachers.

Nobody really wants responsibilities, they're just thrust upon you after school,
And at first nobody really knows what to do, at the time you're just a young fool,
I went straight into Art College at sixteen years of age, I regret it today,
I should've gone into Sixth Form, got some A Levels, Qualifications to pave the way.

Instead I enrolled in a course in Graphic Design, I thought I knew what I wanted,
I had a dream that I hadn't really thought about, never really used my head,
Took a year for me to realise I wasn't doing what I should've been,
And today all I can think of is the many possibilities of what I could've been.

I dropped to a simpler course to begin with, I thought I could salvage something,
But even that was crap, the tutors never really let you spread your wings,
Eventually I just dropped out completely and started looking for employment,
It's not easy, I was on JobSeekers Allowance for months and it was torment.

Living at home and my mother takes most of my money, living on pence,
Couldn't really afford anything, and employers live in ignorance,
“Sure we'll take your C.V. But we won't read it, we'll just file it away,”
It can drive you totally batshit insane waiting for replies every day.

I started drinking at seventeen, some navy bloke bought me a drink,
From then it got worse, I began to use it as an escape into which I would sink,
Only recently have I quit drinking, went T-Total last September,
I haven't looked back, I get tempted sometimes, but I've never felt better.

I've had a few jobs, only one really matters, worked in Currys for two years,
DSGi, an evil corporation, only out to make profit with no other cares,
They would say that the customer comes first but always contradict,
Their ideals and ideas are old fashioned and quite frankly make me sick.

In November 2007, I was very stressed and angry, I made a video on Youtube,
It was a stupid thing to do but I couldn't shake the attitude,
I insulted my boss, and the company, in a very volatile manner,
Someone tipped off my boss and upon me a suspension did hammer.

A month passed by, during this time they were apparently investigating,
What there was to investigate was not much at all, One video of me ranting,
They finally called me in to have a disciplinary hearing eventually,
The person conducting the hearing had already made his decision, clearly.

So now I'm unemployed again, looking for work, still haven't got my P45,
But it's ok, I'm still fighting, I'm still here and I'm still alive,
And now I've reached the point of this rhyme, the reason I'm writing this,
Through everything life has thrown at me, I'm still standing above all the piss.

I believe that people need to be strong, and give life a big fuck you,
No matter what obsticles may appear, just blast your way through,
You are not life's puppet, don't let your life control you,
Take the reigns and make it suck your cock if you have to.

Keep your head up high, walk tall, and make sure to smile,
Try not to let anything in life get you too down, it's really not worthwhile,
The past is the past and you can't change it,
Isn't it all really just a bunch of historic bullshit?

Live for tomorrow, look forwards, the future is yours,
Be prepared and energetic, so you can ride it, get life on all fours,
My final advice to you, you should really listen to which,
Punch through your strife, be strong and happy, because life is your bitch.

- Jason Michael Fisher

After putting that here and reading it again I'm somewhat ashamed of it.

"Because there's no such thing as rock stars, there's just people who play music, and some of them are just like us, and some of them are dicks." - Frank Turner Singer/Songwriter

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Nitro


Member

Posted Sun Dec 6th, 2009 5:35pm Post subject: Something I wrote last year.

"After putting that here and reading it again I'm somewhat ashamed of it."

LOL!! Well, don't be

I listen to some rap and hip-hop and I thought these words really line up with a kind of beat sound - if that makes sense.

It's kind of weird how the message at the ending is that the speaker's come around to terms with Life but it's also at that point all the swearing gets interjected ( cock, bitch etc etc ). I don't mean that as an insult really...

Really? Wow.

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AwesomeSauceUK


Member

Posted Mon Dec 7th, 2009 12:35am Post subject: Something I wrote last year.

Nitro said:
"After putting that here and reading it again I'm somewhat ashamed of it."

LOL!! Well, don't be

I listen to some rap and hip-hop and I thought these words really line up with a kind of beat sound - if that makes sense.

It's kind of weird how the message at the ending is that the speaker's come around to terms with Life but it's also at that point all the swearing gets interjected ( cock, bitch etc etc ). I don't mean that as an insult really...

That's an interesting observ\tion, I hadn't noticed that before.

About 6 months after writing this I got depressed because of some messy business with my social circle, I stayed depressed until xmas where it reached boiling point and I had a break down.

Then I went to see a therpist and identified the problem and was taught how to deal with it. I'm still not healthy but I get depressed due to external circumstances and stimuli that are beyond my influence or control. My only solace is my privacy and looking forward to the day when I can escape it all.

I'm actually watching Stephens documentary about Bipolar Disorder as I type this, I had no idea he was Bipolar.

"Because there's no such thing as rock stars, there's just people who play music, and some of them are just like us, and some of them are dicks." - Frank Turner Singer/Songwriter

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Nitro


Member

Posted Mon Dec 7th, 2009 5:35am Post subject: Something I wrote last year.

I'm sorry you went through such a terrible time and hope that maybe writing helps you vent some of that. That's probably a true byproduct for many writers.

Did you notice on the home page of the Forum that there's a specific area for folks dealing with BPD? Some seem to find it helpful

Really? Wow.

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