It's been some time now since you left me once again.
I wonder if you even care that I battle with my inner thoughts a little more every day?
If I were to see you now though, I'm not even sure what I would say.
There are no words fitting for how I feel.
I guess I was wrong in thinking we shared a bond; you know, something that felt real?
You don't and never will trust me - that is the deal.
I told myself I would not allow you to devour my emotions; yet you've done it again.
I so wanted to feel happiness; instead all I got was a double dose of even more pain.
It's almost as though you are punishing me for being nothing but honest, trustworthy and true. Punished and tortured for a crime I did not commit.
So needless to say you will be out there no doubt, having the time of your life. Out there with the elite; the best of the best.
In contrast, my mind, body and soul have all but given up; seems now they only want to rest, rest, rest.
Mornings are what I dread the most.
I open my eyes and then oh God it hits me:
the cold, bleak, dark and very very stark EMPTINESS.
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SOMEONE WILL NEED TO DEFINE THE MEANING OF TRUST TO ME;
SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE I SEEM TO HAVE GOTTEN IT
COMPLETELY WRONG.
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"This is me - don't try and change it..."
