Stephen Fry is generally accepted as a much loved and adored National Institution - like the British Museum, British Library and Earl Grey Tea.
I posit this:
Tradition dictates that National Institutions are
a) Funded by publicly money
b) Openly accessible to all members of the public, great or lowly.
Therefore, I propose that we set in motion a movement that ensures that:
a) Stephen Fry be declared an official National Institution and thus be funded by public donation.
b) We are allowed to meet him... for tea... and maybe even biscuits.
The logic being that , if we are allowed to go and enjoy the works of Blake or Hogarth or Turner or Ruskin in public spaces free of charge then why can we not be allowed to meet Stephen Fry ? He is a veritable storehouse of valuable knowledge... or, to paraphrase the might R.F Burton, something that 'sparks the pinatochek of the brain' and there should be a programme set in place where we can access this veritable storehouse of knowledge. On any day I can take it upon myself to view the works of the great and mighty, to tread the corridors of inspired and worthy people, to rifle through the attic of the imagination that is the Pitt Rivers Museum at Oxford or delight in the beauty of St Pauls, then surely.... surely, it is only fitting and right that we should be able to enjoy the fruits of Stephens utterances first hand. The fact that he is not yet dead should make it essential that we endow this monument of learning and bequeath it to the nation forthwith while he still lives and breathes for the 'benefit of all mankind' sic.
I demand a hearing in the house of Lords forthwith.
Sign the petition here and we will all be having tea with Stephen by Monday week.
Join me in this righteous moral crusade to ensure that this valued institution be protected and funded forthwith by English Heritage (or some other institution considered fitting and deserving of managing this valuable estate subject to contract).
Never mind that he is a human being with his own life to live - with government funding he will no longer have to ply his trade for a living, no more lengthy contractual negotiations with publishers and TV stations, no more 'working the promo circuit', no more dull and hazardous contretempts, dealing with the odious managers of dreary hotel rooms ... he will be able to live a free and full life just being Stephen and ... having tea with us... at his discretion... bookings by appointment only.
Sign here to free Stephen from a life of drudgery at the hands of a cold and callous media and install him in the ranks of the illuminati that he so clearly deserves... (all paid for by lottery funding, government handouts and public subscription).