Hi all i fingered this be the best place to post this and hopefully the best place to find Stephen's eyes.
i been on a 3 day and night buzz after a week of down and during me buzz i was looking to take over the world again lol. youtube ended up been my target for domination but after much hyped idea including some that required me to change me living room into a tv studio. still not sleepy so here i am.
anyway during searching about this and that found a list that stated that the words "i want to die" were searched by google 24 million or billion times last year and decided im going try and help here, now i know a little bit about ranking websites on google and figgred my best way was to link a youtube video with that search term, this should get me on the first page and hopefully in the eyesite of the poor person thats typed it.
so i ran round me flat for hours with loads running through my mind of what to say to that person, and came up with this little speech to be played on youtube. no please please im no writer and no speller but this was my attempt at what to say to this poor person, some may agree with my words some may not id like your thoughts and my biggest dream is Stephen gets to see this and decides as i wish to reread this in a mutch better way than i can ever do mb adding his own words if he so wished. but with his net power we can get a message at the top of google that all is not lost when you type in them words.
please please Stephen re read this (if you can read it)
Hello friend im Madcotto, my real name is Shaun and for the sake of argument im going to assume you’re watching this
because you having suicidal thoughts. Well stick with me a few moments ill keep it short and I promise it will be worth
it at the end, if not what you lost?
So firstly who am I to think I have the right to tell you anything about how you felling right now?
Well I have seriously attempted suicide numerous times in the past. Several different ways including driving a car at
high speed head first into a railway bridge and massive overdoses of powerful anti psychotics , I am diagnosed with
schizoaffective disorder I have been where you are right now, and know you are thinking or have thought of what you
believe is the quickest and most painless Medford of achieving it. Well let me tell you there isent one, it Hurts,
there is no easily available pain free and quick way to kill yourself, each way you will think of doing it will have
its own way of hurting and yes even taking pills will hurt. Now many of you wont believe that but I can tell you from my
experience it does.
But stick with me here it doesn’t have to hurt and the pain and despair you are feeling like now does not have to continue,
all you will be doing is a selfish act and yes it is a selfish act and I believe I have every right to say that. But its
not you it’s the darkness in your mind and you may believe your sole that’s giving you these thoughts. its just not you
but you can come back. so how can you stop this darkness that’s been consuming your mind, that just wont relent or let you
rest. You feel worthless and a drain on the world you believe the world will be better off without you. But you are wrong.
All you will be doing is passing that darkness that anger, hurt and despair onto those that love you, and yes there is
always someone that will take this from you when you depart your friends your family will all take a part of this with them
on their journey through life. I know this for the pain I have given my friends and family and especially my children, the
constant worry I give them when im am with the darkness.
So what can you do? Well for starters there a high chance that you are drinking right now and if you are Stop It right now,
everyone knows the power of alcohol on losing your inebriations and this will be egging you onwards into doing something
you wouldn’t normally do, everyone’s got these story’s, and that combined with the extra depressive power of drink is
something you realy don’t need to be dealing with now, let alone adding another potential problem to your struggle.
The next step is quite simple, talk to somebody this can be a anyone and not just the normal people you may think of like
spouses or best friends that you might find realy hard to as you feel put on them, its best to seek proficanal help and this
for may people will be there doctor or if already having any form of treatment there support workers. But your not worthy
of there time right? and they probably don’t care anyway its just a job. This again is the darkness talking these people
have chose to be in there profession for precisely this reason, there have trained for many years sometimes almost entire
lifetimes just to be as best equipped as they can be to help someone in need, and you are in need.
But a word of warning you may think ill just carry on with my plans to show im serious and possibly someone to understand me.
A&E is not the place for this you will not get what you may be expecting their, the doctors and nurses time is very stretched
and although they will do everything they can at the time to help you they cannot give you the full support you need at
what will be one of the lowest points of your life, this will bring on the darkness again and a self of worthlessness.
But I carnt stress enough that this is also Not a reason to stay away if you have already started on your attempt.
Help is out there and taking it is the greatest step you will ever make in your life, look for helpline numbers for your area
on the internet or in the phonebook. But please do not post for help on the internet. There are many sick people out
there that will make fun of your need and will even ignorantly egg people on. This is because they donot understand your
pain your confusion. to them its like having a bad day and its nothing, but your and their experience’s of depression are
relevant. The worst they have ever felt in there life was a solum day and that’s all they can comprehend of the pain you
are deeply deeply feeling.
But you done all this already and it hasn’t helped. well it has you may not think it now or even rember it but If you try
realy hard you may rember the days where things were easer with less stress less of a battle, you are just with the
darkness again, and you now already know the darkness passes.
I cannot and will not say there a overnight cure but what I can promise you is that with help you can lift this shroud
that’s covering the real you. Day by day your days will get lighter and easer as now you have taken the steps to get help,
you cannot get anyworse. Your real self will start to re appear the things you thought so difficult will fade to memory.
Your journey may not be easy with some ups and downs, but you will never return to this day again, this moment this time
is over. You are a unique collection of stardust in a vast universe. Although a little scary we shall all ride this
planet together. And together we can fight the darkness.
If you are watching this as a international banker who has participated in collapsing the worlds finances whilst lining
your own pockets with huge undeserved bonuses. *Edited*
Think i may have gone on a tad here, thank you for your time and any comments