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tito


Member *

Posted Wed Nov 18th, 2009 6:00pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

Pink Deluxe Avenger,

No one else can see this message AT ALL.

I purchased off the internet today, the seller was a trustworthy complete stranger, a genuine Klingon Cloaking Device.

It cost $362.00.

So long as I have it just above my keyboard only you and I can see the messages.

The Device:

http://rlv.zcache.com/wizard_troll_doll_sculpture_.....jh_400.jpg

Not even governments know about this.

Now: When are you putting your plan to invade France into operation? Have you purchased the Nicolas Sarkozy mask yet? And remember to walk on your knees. We have discussed this before. He isn't tall.

We don't want the plot discovered because someone notices the height discrepancy.

Speak later.

Professor Universe


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tito


Member *

Posted Wed Nov 18th, 2009 7:13pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

P.S. I know you can't speak French. You'll just have to wing it for six or seven months.

P.U.


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Nitro


Member

Posted Thu Nov 19th, 2009 12:57am Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

What a great tool you've found. I found one too, given to me liberally by that scientist we had our henchmen beat the Hell out of last month. Such a nice guy, but what a pointy head he had. It didn't frame his black eye and busted nose very good. Oh well, the henchmen gave him something exciting to talk about. Anyway...

The high tech tool grappled out of his hands is this invisible type. Which is why you couldn't see this if I hadn't sent you the antidote via carrier pigeon. BTW, the pigeon's name is Kirk.

I say we offer the world a 20% rate, compounded daily by .5. This will, at the very least, keep them in eternal debt to us.

Ah, nice to be a jeenyuss ain't it?

Hugs and teddy bears,

---The Pink Avenger---

Really? Wow.

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tito


Member *

Posted Thu Nov 19th, 2009 12:42pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

Thanks for the news!

I say you take the henchmen out for a frappachino to say 'Thanks guys!'.

Kirk did his toilet business on my front window. Not that I want to make an issue out of it, but the bill for the window cleaner is in the post.

What are you feeding him on?

The Lair:

Frankly, people in our position shouldn't be conducting our plots in a cupboard under your stairs. And as you continue to refuse to move your stack of 'Art' magazines and raincoats out of there, we really do need new headquarters.

I was hoping for this:

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/gal.....elrod1.jpg

But as I went over the accounts it appears that this is more in our price range:

http://www.ozark-trail-tents.com/images/ColemanKidsDomeTent.jpg

We need to raise funds and soon.

Remember when we played ping pong for twenty four hours to decide who was going to be financial director of this operation and you claimed victory after I fell asleep on the table?

Well, now is the time to get the money rolling in.

A couple of suggestions:

We could look our investments over and maybe sell a few shares?

Or you could build a massive ray gun and hold the world to ransom?

I'll leave it with you.

Cuddles!

Professor Universe


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Nitro


Member

Posted Thu Nov 19th, 2009 3:37pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

Dear P.U.,

Sorry about Kirk. I fed him a steady diet of bean burritos. Isn't that what pigeons eat? He seemed to like it. Anyway, the check's in the mail.

I think the proper lair would be the first pic. The ray gun's a great idea, just in line with my sort of personality, but as you deduced yourself, our budget can't take the building of it. Even if we could build it, we wouldn't have enough left over to make it operable.

So, I concur with raising funds. I have made a list of potential donors we could approach:
* Richard Branson
* The former members of Milli Vanilli
* Donald Trump ( you'll have to handle this one - his hairstyle makes me too queasy )
* The entire cast of Sesame Street
* Austrailia
* Bono ( he's a great one for charities )
* Any former bank CEO
* The guy who runs the gas station down the street
* The International Order of Jet-Setting Playgirls
* The U.S. four man bobsled team

I look forward to your opinion and any additions you might add to this list.

Meanwhile, I'm going to finish up eating my jelly doughnuts sitting next to my computer.

Jam and kisses,
The Pink Avenger

Really? Wow.

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tito


Member *

Posted Thu Nov 19th, 2009 6:14pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

Dear Pink Avenger,

Well! (Scoff!)

I'm surprised you didn't think of these OBVIOUS potential donators to our cause!

* My neighbour's sister-in-law 'Muriel'

* The Amazon Basin

* The Bristol City Council Waste and Refuse Dept

* Brendan

* The person who performs the valet service on the Space Shuttle

* Leonard Nimoy

* Champion the Wonder Horse

From your own list, please delete 'Bono'. He has no discretion at all.

I thought we might print off a few fund raising leaflets. I've had a 'studio shot' photo done of myself to put on them.

You may want to supply your own?

MOI!

http://events.liveguide.com.au/641835_thumbnail_28.....sor.v1.jpg

Squeezes!

Professor Universe


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Nitro


Member

Posted Fri Nov 20th, 2009 4:23pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

Dear Prof,

Yeesh but you're a perfectionist ain't ya? I mean, yeesh!

'Yeesh' is my new favorite word. I found a cat in my grocery bag and have also named it 'Yeesh'. It's staring at the Sun right now.

Anyway, uh...right, taking over the World.

That flyer is awesome dude. I'm thinking of something like this for myself. I decided on a bit more sophistication, just for the flyers sake. I can't be seen too often in my pink leotard or the World won't take me seriously enough. So this is a good alternative I think:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__ZVD1t0c2x4/SYcLKaH6sqI/.....t+link.jpg

BTW, you're right about Bono. When I tried to contact him, he kept hanging up on me. What a twerp!

Faithfully in evil plans,
The Pink A

Really? Wow.

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tito


Member *

Posted Fri Nov 20th, 2009 4:47pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

Dear Pink Avenger,

For one second when I saw your leaflet photo I mistook you for George Clooney!

That pipe certainly gives you a sophisticated edge.

Although you needn't have shaved so much of your hair off. You looked just fine before. But that's just that's just my opinion.

I like the word 'yeesh' but prefer the word 'sprinkles'.

Bono is an idiot. I put all my precious energy into following him around for 24 hours a day for A WHOLE YEAR and he had me arrested, can you believe?

Some people have no appreciation.

We also need to think about what is going to be our Capital City when we take over the world.

London, Washington, Paris, have all been done before.

Any suggestions on that?

There is a place called 'Twatt' in the Orkney Isles off the coast of Scotland. I think it has a ring to it.

Let me know.

kisses

Professor Universe


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Nitro


Member

Posted Fri Nov 20th, 2009 4:54pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

Oh gosh! Twatt! Most assuredly. Me likey!

That'll show 'em! Mwahhh hahahahaha

TalkingHead:"The Evil Duo last seen heading for their lair in Twatt!"

Producer:"Shhh. You're not supposed to say that on television!! Think of our sponsors!!"

Can't you see it now? I'm getting so excited about all this. Nothing can stop us now!

Yeah, I don't really 'get' Bono and his whole not being stalked thing. I mean, sprinkles!

Thanks for the false flattery about my hair. You've been always been so good at that, which is why I insist you be our mouthpiece when they come on their knees to beg our mercy! Mwahh hahahahaha....um...where was I? Oh yeah, my hairs.

Broke FOUR clipper sets getting it down to that. When the makeup man complained, I put a few of his fingers in my pocket.
I'm going to dip them in caramel and have them while watching some Sumo wrestling later.

Yeesh keeps walking around in circles and bumping into things. I can't figure out why.

Next step: Making our TRILLIONS in donations. How about a tunnel under Ft.Knox?

Really? Wow.

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tito


Member *

Posted Fri Nov 20th, 2009 7:06pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

Hairy flattery: You're welcome.

Caramel fingers: Sounds yummy!

I'm with you on the Fort Knox plan and have started collecting equipment:

http://www.beachmarketing.co.uk/images/about_pic.jpg

On the henchmen front:

Regarding discussions in our last general meeting, point 5, agenda subsection 42 a.:

'All henchmen must fit in with the general populace so as not to arouse suspicion'

With this in mind I have today run up some costumes on my sewing machine and have already dressed some of the henchmen in them:

http://icebarrel.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/village-people.jpg

You said at the meeting, and I quote:

'I'm good for a few costumes myself. I'll go through my wardrobe on Tuesday of next week'.

Any news on them? I don't want to rush you, not when there's Sumo wrestling on TV, but I've got several naked henchmen in my living room.

And in this cold weather it's not a pretty sight.

I'm excited too about our plans. Isn't it wonderful that they're all coming together so well?

'Sprinkles'

Professor Universe


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tito


Member *

Posted Fri Nov 20th, 2009 7:11pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

Twatt: I can see some potential here:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1287/937903538_469e875f59.jpg?v=0


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Nitro


Member

Posted Sat Nov 21st, 2009 4:09am Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

Dear Professor,

The place already has a gate! I concur with this as a choice. Please note that on one of the silk napkins laying on your desk for the next general meeting. And thanks for reminding me we had one.

Speaking of the silk linen, and it will help if you reference your photo of the henchmen, but the cowboy guy called me at 0300hrs this morning - you MUST work with them on protocols for contacting either of us - and was plainly drunk. He slurred that you had already accepted him as a henchmen but secured his services only if he was willing to,(how do I put this delicately?), agree to you performing unspeakable acts on him.

Now, I know you have certain 'proclivities' and I certainly do not begrudge you them, but if you're going to get the help drunk in order to have your way - could you at least duct tape them till morning so they cannot access your phone? I don't want anymore of these foul creatures ringing my phone for that detestable emotion called 'compassion'. Please let them know, if you have to carve it into their bellies, that I was not born with the Compassion Gene and, Duhhh, probably why I'm the other half of our Dynamic Evil Duo.

Since that's out of the way, I rummaged through some old boxes and found ten pairs of black socks, one of blue, and one of pink. I also found some adult diapers and bow ties, but this may not be fitting for the Henchmen Unit. However, until our budget's bigger I think they must understand their choices will be limited in uniform but we could probably offset this minor insult by supplying them with some of my great Uncle Flo's disco records. He had all the superexplosivedynamicsmash super hits on 45's. Yeesh is sleeping on a few right now.

As for learning French, I could've sworn at the general meeting you mentioned that I could easily speak French gesturing wildly with my hands and shouting a lot. I'm going to hold you to that for now.

BTW, the former members of Milli Vanilli insist they're broke. I warned them that failure to be generous with us might bump them higher on our Revenge List, so they suggested we contact Dame Edna's old wigmaker. Even during the teeth pulling session, they could not remember this persons name. Sorry. Would you like me to untie them now and go ahead and put them up for sale, or save them for our press conference?

Time for lemon pie!

Oh, one last thing: I may lengthen my name from time to time, or shorten it, depending on my memory. For now, it's pretty good so...

The Almighty and Easily Angered Pink Avenger Deluxis!!

Really? Wow.

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Sat Nov 21st, 2009 6:55pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

O-E here, I believe I have found a location for a north western office:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thum.....ndland.jpg

Hope this helps.

O-E
GSITB

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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Nitro


Member

Posted Sat Nov 21st, 2009 7:20pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

O-E?

I'm sorry, I don't recognize the name. And how did you manage to view this invisible text without the instrument I sent along with Kirk to Professor U's house?

Have we become a trinity of evil? Did we have a new meeting?
My memory's slipping. Let me move my bong out of the way.

------> there.

Now, what were we talking about?

Oh yes, yes...a new location. Hey, that's cool. Could we somehow manage to merge the two locations because that would make an impressive address! mwahhh hahahahahaha....burrrrp...oh, sorry..heh...

Where were we again?

Oh yeah...O-E..oh...um...I have a slight sensation the name is familiar to me. The sensation, however, is located on my big right toe, currently stuffed into...HEY! THERE'S my jelly doughnut!

OK, talk to ya later Bro',

The Generally Sober Pinkalicious Avenger

Really? Wow.

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Sat Nov 21st, 2009 8:40pm Post subject: Temporary posting place for secret plans to take over the world

I apologise for breaking the code of silence; Tito has appointed me Deputy Fuehrer unt Hinterbacke-Jongleur whilst she goes undercover: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3446/3927423134_37343412a5.jpg to raise funds for The Noble Undertaking.

O-E,
Major (ret) Queen's Own Mincers.

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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