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Esme Montebank-Bliss


Posted Fri Sep 11th, 2009 10:28am Post subject: The puzzling leaf of the papaw-tree

I have been informed that this is an excellent location to find intelligent, well read correspondents. Good.

I have never ventured to places with a hot climate (I tell a lie, Kew Gardens is a joy), and was puzzled and perplexed by this reply in my brother Albert's BOP (Boy's Own Paper).

R. L. D. – The leaf in which the steaks are wrapped to make them tender is that of the papaw-tree. If you leave the meat in the leaf during the night you will find it gently walking away in the morning, so rapid will have become its decomposition.

I feel assured that the experts on hand, perhaps not Mr Fry whom I know is busy, shall be able to explain this reply. Incidentally, it was the manner of the Correspondence section of Boy's Own not to publish the original enquiry.

These curtains are heavy, I am stultified!
Release me with your light essence.
Carry me to my unburden, my Heathcliffe
And let the sands stop when at last embraced I.

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Posted Fri Sep 11th, 2009 12:36pm Post subject: The puzzling leaf of the papaw-tree

Dear Esme,

I think, after much trawling through my public library I may have come upon the original enquiry.

If this is not the case then I will pop it down here anyway and let you peruse in a leisurely fashion.

Dear Boys Own Paper,

I'm jolly well sick, sick, sick of the horrid gubbins which they pass for steak at my school 'St Spatula's School For The Boys Of Parents With More Money Than Sense'.

I tell you! Freddie 'Cottage loaf' Wappleton-Bang used his steak from last Monday's luncheon to repair the bottom of his plimsoll!

And then on Tuesday (Last) Basil 'Wickets' Bringem-Plus-Norwich said he had heard a rumour that wrapping steak in a leaf makes it soft and palatable.

We wrapped some in a leaf from the Latin Master's cheese plant but it did no good at all.

And when the Latin Master found out we all had a jolly good thrashing too!

(It's a good job we had some steak to shove down the back of our shorts. Barely felt a thing! What!)

Anyway, have you clever chaps there got any ideas on this leaf story?

Much Obliged,
Randolph (lily) Liveridge-Drogba

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Posted Fri Sep 11th, 2009 7:42pm Post subject: The puzzling leaf of the papaw-tree

who told you we was intelligent and well read?

"HELLO I'M TACTILE !" is an anagram of my name

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Posted Fri Sep 11th, 2009 8:22pm Post subject: The puzzling leaf of the papaw-tree

Yew English foke sher do tawk funnee.

Really? Wow.

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