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Britannicus


Member

Posted Mon Jun 11th, 2007 4:09am Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
Something I've seen in other forums...

You express a wish, and the person that posts after you grants your wish but in a horrible way.

For example:

Person #1: I wish I lived on another planet.

Person #2: You do!!! This planet is similar to Earth in that it has breathable air and a variety of (mostly) comfortable climates. You live on the continent Halbaria and in the country Alchfrith. The dominant species is intelligent, mostly peaceful, and rather aesthetically pleasing to the eye. And they love you!

Unfortunately, they love you like your average joe spectator loves lions or gorillas. You are an exotic beast to them. They capture you and place you in a zoo with all the other crazy creatures they admire. Now, instead of being free to explore this fantastic world and learn from its people, you're stuck in a small enclosure with no clothes, nasty food, and a strange creature that looks kind of like an overlarge colorful slug but smells strongly of moldy cheese. The zookeepers stuck him in there with you on purpose. They think your grimace of disgust is adorable.

Then THAT person rounds it off with another wish for the next person to mutilate. Got it? Okay.

I wish I did well at math.

"Your room...it's CLEAN!!!"
"I prayed to God...and...it happened...but...where's my million dollars and horse!? Damn it!"

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Fryphile


Member *

Posted Mon Jun 11th, 2007 4:30am Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
*waves magically nefarious wand*

You excel at mathematics. Additions, subtractions, divisions, mutliplications, square roots, cosines, Pythagorus (Peter Gorus ), fractions, you name it, you got it. You are a living breathing calculator, numbersmith, figurer extrordinaire.

Now you can't use words. All your communications are done by a complex matrix of numbers and graphs. Someone says, "Good morning" to you, and you respond:

"1 0 0 3 04 04
5 5 5 898 2.9!"

And they run away from you crying, "OMGWTF." You long for conversation, but are severed from society. In a fit of despair, you write an indecipherable suicide note and throw yourself off a building. Of course, you've all ready figured out how long the fall will take and the force of impact. And you were right. Bloody right.

I wish I had hair.

I think of myself as someone who is filled with love, whose only purpose in life was to achieve love. - Stephen Fry

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Britannicus


Member

Posted Mon Jun 11th, 2007 4:58am Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
X-D X-D X-D

HAPPINESS! (there!)

You now have hair. Great, flowing locks of it. It is completely indifferent to weathering. You can douse the whole of it in cooking oil, set fire to it, or wear a hat, yet it will still be shiny, glimmering, strong. Damsels in distress glare daggers at you while Stephen Fry swoons at your feet.

Unfortunately, Colin Mochrie corners you in an alley one night in a fit of passionate jealousy, and scalps you with a butterknife.
You miraculously survive, but are doomed to live out the rest of your miserable days completely bald while Colin prances around wearing your wondrous hair as a wig.



I wish there was no pollution.

"Your room...it's CLEAN!!!"
"I prayed to God...and...it happened...but...where's my million dollars and horse!? Damn it!"

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Fryphile


Member *

Posted Mon Jun 11th, 2007 3:13pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
X-D X-D X-D The thought of being attacked by Colin is slightly exciting.

As a great man once said, "Rock and Roll ain't noise pollution." And neither is anything else. No more virulent clouds of atmospheric doom hover in the sky. Los Angeles is no longer Smoggy McSmoggersons. The sky is so blue you can almost taste it. The ozone layer is hearty and whole. Earth is in full bloom.

Now farts are outlawed.

Everyone has to have a cork wedged in their butts. Slight discomfort at first, but people adapt, as humans are prone to do. Then one day Britannicus decides to have a go at the All You Can Eat Chili Bar. She eats and eats and eats and her belly begins to bubble, but she eats and eats and eats some more and then....

BOOM

She toots so hard that she shoots the cork out and releases a harmful fart fume of doom. She's arrested and spends the rest of her life in prison. With two corks up there.

I wish I had Brad Pitt's abs.

I think of myself as someone who is filled with love, whose only purpose in life was to achieve love. - Stephen Fry

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whattocallmyself


Member

Posted Mon Jun 11th, 2007 3:49pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
X-D X-D X-D X-D X-D

Onwards and Upwards!

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absolutely curtains


Member

Posted Mon Jun 11th, 2007 3:51pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
You have got Brad Pitt's abs, Fryphile! Men, women and children everywhere are either jealous, mystified or uncontrollably attracted to you. But you can hold them off, because your new abs give you a newfound impulse to get down the gym and do the rest of your body. Soon enough, you've got a fantastically marvellous body.

However, Brad Pitt was fairly unhappy about the fact that you took his abs. In fact, he died from multiple organ failure, due to the loss of his abs. The police are hunting you down as we speak, and although you will be let off with a caution (because you're so irresistable), everyone will be really annoyed that you killed Brad Pitt and there will be huge pressure on you to be just as good as he is at whatever it is he does best. You'll have to go to his family gatherings. Eventually all this stress will REALLY get to you and you'll gorge on chocolate until your fantastic abs are hidden by a giant blanket of fat and skin. The muscles will deteriorate and you won't even be able to sit up in the morning.

I wish could fly.

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Crazy_in_a_box


Member

Posted Mon Jun 11th, 2007 9:55pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
*kazzam!* Curtains your wish is granted and you are able to fly! You spend most of your days soaring above the world seeing the sights from a different angle, feeling the wind rush through your hair and the sun on your face. traveling has become a doddle, no more traffic or airport problems, you simply take off and go where you please....

however, the means to how you can fly are not superman-like.... think bird-woman. You have sprouted wings where your arms should be and you have no hands/fingers. this makes typing rather impossible and you have to for-go the Fry forum and any other internet surfing let alone any computers or even the stone-age pen and paper.... you also have taken to living in the local tree in a twig nest.


I wish I can build my ideal house and live in the countryside.... with a big big garden.

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Mon Jun 11th, 2007 10:30pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
A long, unknown relative who you've never met dies and you are their only living descendant. Their entire property is yours and it just so happens to be your ideal house in the countryside AND has a mahoosive garden. It's everything you want and doesnt smell of old lady.
Until you decide you want an ensuite bathroom. You get the plumber in to assess the work that needs done and he discovers that all of your pipes have rusted to the extent that one more flush of a toilet and the entire system is down. You use a bucket for a while. As you go to pour the contents of the bucket into the garden- you discover and army of druggies dealing at the back of you garden where, unknown to you- there is a huge field of cannabis plants. You call the police, but you are arrested and charged because they're on your property.

I wish to marry this guy...

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Anonymous


Unregistered

Posted Tue Jun 12th, 2007 8:21am Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
Which guy? Or just a vague description.

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boffinbabe12


Member

Posted Tue Jun 12th, 2007 6:31pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
Which guy? Gorgeous, beautiful guy- is that a vague description? Who also has a wonderful accent and is hilarious and has great teeth.

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Frylu


Member

Posted Tue Jun 12th, 2007 7:52pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
Who says he`s beautiful . You or he

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Terri


Member

Posted Tue Jun 12th, 2007 8:03pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
Boffin - you married him! He's gorgeous and his teeth, accent and sense of humour are everything you've ever wished for ... you and he have 2 equally gorgeous children, who are brilliant and funny and love their parents. You are the envy of everyone ...


... because they ALL want him. Every day you are plagued by the fact that women stare at him, and some men do too. Every time he looks back at one of them you are stricken by suspicion that he's having an affair, until your paranoia drives you into the nearest loony bin (very un-pc, sorry!) screaming about people hiding in your wardrobe ... you are still there now, and you're doodling pictures yourself with crayon - but because they're crayon they can't do you justice and so you feel inadequate so each time your wonderful husband visits you, you chase him from the room screaming your suspicions, straight into the arms of a beautiful behavioural therapist ...


I wish I had JK Rowling's bank balance.

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rawlini


Member

Posted Tue Jun 12th, 2007 8:41pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
Poof…You have JK Rowling’s bank balance. In fact, you have JK Rowling. You keep her locked in your fruit cellar, an old typewriter chained to her ankle. You tell her she will be released upon completion of another in the Harry Potter series, thus increasing her bank balance. You find that Rowling is in league with the devil, despite her claims to the contrary. Rowling and Lucifer punish you for her kidnapping in some deliciously ironic way that I haven’t worked out yet. You suffer immensely.

I wish I was Stephen Fry.

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Fryphile


Member *

Posted Tue Jun 12th, 2007 9:15pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
ALAKAZAM

You=Stephen Fry.

Now boobs scare the shit out of you. You might not think it's all bad, until aliens attack and destroy most of the world. Except for the Playboy mansion. So there you are, the last man on earth, surrounded by Playmates of the Month and their bouncing milk-filled horrors. Worse yet, you have to re-procreate the world. That means more yucky female bits. The thought sends you into a coma and the world dies.

I wish I was Hugh Laurie

I think of myself as someone who is filled with love, whose only purpose in life was to achieve love. - Stephen Fry

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whattocallmyself


Member

Posted Tue Jun 12th, 2007 9:21pm Post subject: The Ruin A Wish Game
X-D X-D X-D X-D
I didn´t dare touch that one, but you were great, fryphile!

Onwards and Upwards!

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