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Clive


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Posted Mon May 14th, 2012 1:59pm Post subject: Things I Can Do Better Than Hugh Laurie (as far as I know)

I've expanded my list.

1. Menstruate
2. Play the acoustic guitar badly
3. Be vegetarian
4. Write embarrassing fanmail to Philip Glenister
5. Cunnilingus (because I can just do that better than anyone)
6. Fix broken fruit machines
7. Call a game of bingo
8. Draw cartoon snails
9. Use the definite article to precede the word ‘ASDA’, i.e. ‘I am just going down to The ASDA to buy a packet of cheapy tabs. Do you want owt?’ without sounding like a lunatic. This is a uniquely Hartlepudlian skill.
10. Use the terms ‘cheapy tabs’ and ‘do you want owt?’ without sounding like a lunatic.
11. Open my front door (there’s a trick to it)
12. Recite my old school motto (that’s a sneaky one – I don’t actually have an old school motto, though he wouldn’t know that, so he’d fall for it)
13. Produce a simplistic yet striking undersea vista Batik mural using flour and water paste and vegetable dye. (I have no way of knowing this for sure, though I’ll bet I could).

'Vote for E.L. Wisty, or invisible nudists will come along and smash you round the face.'

(E.L. Wisty)

My Attempt at Tumbling

Twitter: @CliveLive49

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Frazzy


Member

Posted Sat May 19th, 2012 2:49pm Post subject: Things I Can Do Better Than Hugh Laurie (as far as I know)

1. Menstruate.
2. Limp.
3. Get horribly wounded by refrigerators.
4. Play Tetris
5. Grow dreadlocks
6. Draw toucans.
7. Steal teaspoons one at a time over many weeks only to secretly return one at a time once the teaspoon owner has bought replacement teaspoons.
(This takes a lot of dedication....)
8. Wake up up the wrong end of the bed, curled into a ball, with all the pillows, blankets and even the bottom sheet scrunched up on top of me.
9. Solve sudoko puzzles, in my head, whilst the puzzle is upside down on the other side of the table and I have to squint to see it without my glasses, while eating soup.
10. Play Nethack.


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