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Panja


Member

Posted Thu Apr 3rd, 2008 4:43am Post subject: This is going to be a long night
For the last 5 hours or so it's felt like 4am, like that strange time of day between night and morning where seconds last for years and you're not really sure if you're awake or asleep. It's actually barely even midnight. Usually at this time I'd be just getting to work, but I got screwed for hours this week so I'm home alone again. To make things worse I've had to adjust my sleep schedule in order to work a different shift tomorrow, which is why I'm in such a haze right now. I slept poorly and then woke up today at exactly the hour I usually go to bed, which is just unnervingly confusing. Half an hour after I woke up, I wanted to crawl back into bed because it felt like I was up past my bedtime and it was time to rest. So now, 8 hours later, the time has crawled slowly by and I still have another endless 9 hours or so before I can actually go to bed. This feels like insomnia, like I know I shouldn't be awake but I also can't sleep. I feel like I've been awake for days and nothing makes sense anymore. I don't know how I'm going to get through the night without completely losing my mind. I don't even know what I'm talking about, typing this is becoming surreal right now. I feel like I'm on some sort of drug that I haven't even taken. Too much of my time is spent alone in the night with my thoughts and I think I've gone a bit mad.

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Panja


Member

Posted Fri Apr 4th, 2008 3:17am Post subject: This is going to be a long night
I hate my job. They switched my early shift tonight so now I'm going to work in an hour and I've barely slept. I can't deal with this instability of shifts, my body is destroyed enough without sleep deprivation being an added strain

I think tonight will also be a very long night, 4am all the way through.

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Fri Apr 4th, 2008 11:52am Post subject: This is going to be a long night
Rough. No chance you can find someone with more care for your well being I suppose? Like Stephen, I have been visited by the Black Dog, and situations like yours positively invite it to bite. Take care.

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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benson


Member

Posted Fri Apr 4th, 2008 11:57am Post subject: This is going to be a long night
good luck panja. i don't really know whether to offer advice or anything, but isn't there anybody at your work you could speak to about your shifts? take care.

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amyl_nitrate


Member

Posted Fri Apr 4th, 2008 12:08pm Post subject: This is going to be a long night
Research I read about years ago into shift work again and again only showed negative effects on workers, especially when the shfits don't allow for a gradual bodyclock shift so sleeping isn't disrupted so much. I think that if your job is causing you so much stress, is affecting your health and you keep changing your mind about it you probably should look for a new job Panja and find one that isn't going to cause so much harm to your well-being as this one sounds like it is. Is it going to cause you more stress to jobhunt while sticking with this job or quitting this job to give you more breathing space to jobhunt while having no money? Whichever one sounds more suited to you go for. Don't feel pressured to do anything that doesn't feel right for you whatever myself or anyone else tells you. The final decision is yours.

Assuming direct control...

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Panja


Member

Posted Fri Apr 4th, 2008 1:22pm Post subject: This is going to be a long night
Thanks for your responses Maxx, benson and amyl.

The person who does my scheduling asked me specifically what hours I would like to work and I told her many times not to put me on afternoons but that I would happily work midnights or mornings. Yet she still puts me on afternoons every so often and it sucks.

As far as quitting, I'm kind of stuck as to what to do right now with work. I don't have much work experience so finding another job is difficult without references and the only jobs really available anyway are call centres or fast food - I did the first one, not interested in the second one. I also don't want to find another job in this city because I desperately want to move out of here, but I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to find a job somewhere else without actually being there first.

I just wish I could figure this out quickly because in addition to the schedule changes, the place where I work most often gives me really bad headaches and the chairs destroy my back. So I know I need to quit, I just don't know how I'll ever get another job if I do.

It doesn't help that a lot of the time I find I don't actually want a job at all but instead just to crawl into a hole and disappear, so that makes motivation to look for work quite difficult at times.

I am having a craptacular day/week/life

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