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Nitro


Member

Posted Sun Feb 8th, 2009 12:56am Post subject: Was Oscar Wilde gay?
I know some people would answer the topic question instantly with a confident ,"Yes, of course he was.".

I know it's fairly vulgar of me to ponder such things, but Oscar's personal proclivities kind of serve as a springboard that launches other questions that aren't really so much about him as a person, but people in general.

When asked by the press if he was a homosexual, Michael Stipe of the band R.E.M calmly replied,"No, I'm sexual.". Likely because he's consorted with people of both genders.

Roseanne Barr, the raucous comedian, once stated,"Straight people I get and Gay people I get, but I don't get the Bisexual. Everyone else has to make a choice, why don't they?". This was said with a tone of humor in her voice btw.

We know Oscar married and had children. And we know he had a thing for younger men. Does this make him bisexual or just someone who found himself attracted to a person rather than a specific gender? Does the person who falls in love with any gender just have a more open heart, or are they just base perverts easily aroused at any moment?

I can't recall which society it was, maybe the Greeks, but there was a belief that the bisexual was actually more 'centered' or complete than those who are strictly straight or strictly gay. It had something to do with the ability to fuse male and female into that truly complete 'One'. That's not quite right but it was along those lines.

I just wonder if some people have a greater capacity to love without bound than others. I'd prefer to see it that way versus the Puritanical notion that it's a result of some slobbering perversity born in the bowels of Hell. X-D

What do you think?

Really? Wow.

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PamJH


Member

Posted Sun Feb 8th, 2009 2:41am Post subject: Was Oscar Wilde gay?
I wonder if Oscar Wilde was simply (or not so simply) attracted to beauty of all kinds and in both genders? It seems to me that he couldn't stomach the mundane.

I have a library book called Son of Wilde, written by Vyvyan (Wilde) Holland which I hope will shed light on the subject, but since it was published in 1954, I sort of doubt it. I want to read Richard Ellman's (pretty sure that' s the name) Wilde bio, but I'm waiting until I have a free couple of weeks for that.

As always, you raise some interesting points. I wonder how the world would be if everyone were attracted to both genders. Might be a lot less arguing, posturing and condemnation.

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fanoffry


Member

Posted Sun Feb 8th, 2009 5:26am Post subject: Was Oscar Wilde gay?
I want to say thank you for that; the title of your post had me all set to bang my head on the desk (it's been one of those days), but it was a lovely, thoughtful post. I can now go to bed with my faith in humanity restored. (Yes, really one of those days.)

I think bisexuality is the ideal. I'd like to think I would fall in love with a person, not his/her dangly or not-so-dangly bits. As His Fryness Himself said, "All it takes is a cute mind." That said, I just do not find myself attracted to men (except Stephen, of course ). And I suppose the definition of ones sexuality depends on whether you take it to mean who you're attracted to or who you are able to fall in love with - they're not necessarily one and the same.

I have no idea if what I just wrote makes sense, I'm exhausted.

Good night!

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Jarus


Member

Posted Sun Feb 8th, 2009 3:48pm Post subject: Was Oscar Wilde gay?
I've always liked the concept of a sliding scale of sexuality, but perhaps thats because I dislike labels

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erik


Member

Posted Sun Feb 8th, 2009 5:06pm Post subject: Was Oscar Wilde gay?
I think it's problematic to call any sexual orientation (or point on the scale) 'ideal'. Ideally, everyone should be able to define themselves according to their drives and wishes, and without any condemnation. That, at least, is my view.
Personally I've only ever fallen in love with the opposite gender. I've been physically attracted to quite a few of my own, though, and thinking back, I've had more sex with guys than with girls. Not by much, but still.

What I don't get is why some people feel so threatened by homosexual behaviour. A recent survey made me proud to be a Dane once again (for a moment at least); we are the least homophobic nation in Europe.
It's easy to point fingers and say homophobes are scared of something inside themselves, or of the unknown, but can that really be the whole of it? Is it really that simple?

This can't be the first post in this forum on the subject. Could some veteran of the forum point me in the firection of a clever, thoughtful thread?

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M.K.


Member

Posted Mon Feb 9th, 2009 9:35pm Post subject: Was Oscar Wilde gay?
but can that really be the whole of it? Is it really that simple?

No it's not. And I must say I'm pretty ashamed and worried about my country which is currently one of the most homophobic nations in Europe...

About dearest Oscar, I've always thought he was somewhere in what I call the gender greyscale. You know, there are "homosexual", there are "heterosexuals" and there's a whole world in between. As for me, I always thought I was lesbian but I keep on falling in love with gay guys, so that classifies me as bi. Even though the first time it happened I had a sort of identity crisis- what am I? A woman? A man? A gay male in a wrong body? should I change my body or what?- until I realize it was only a matter of pure definitions. I'm not gay nor heterosexual- I'm Mel, that's all. Same with Oscar, I think.

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Maxx England


Member

Posted Tue Feb 10th, 2009 2:16pm Post subject: Was Oscar Wilde gay?
Forgive me for this, but the frivolous monkey in my soul answers the original questuion thus: was Oscar gay? My dear boy, he was positively hysterical.

As for sexuality, I believe that what people do in private, providing it causes no distress to the participants or their emotional partners outside of that activity, then fine, get on with it. And clean up after yourselves.

The only way is forward. Now where's the bar?

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The Oracle


Member

Posted Tue Feb 10th, 2009 5:43pm Post subject: Was Oscar Wilde gay?
I always thought that he had tried to live a "normal" life until the Homosexual feelings just overwhelmed so much that he could no longer live a lie, denying himself the love he felt with his gay relationships, or am I just wearing rose tinted glasses.

God bless Oscar Wilde and all who sail in her, hip hip horray. Pip PIp. Toot Toot and all that...............

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Nitro


Member

Posted Wed Feb 11th, 2009 4:23am Post subject: Was Oscar Wilde gay?
Forgive me for this, but the frivolous monkey in my soul answers the original questuion thus: was Oscar gay? My dear boy, he was positively hysterical.

As for sexuality, I believe that what people do in private, providing it causes no distress to the participants or their emotional partners outside of that activity, then fine, get on with it. And clean up after yourselves.

Forgive me, but of course what people do in private is their own god damned business. The issue of privacy wasn't really what I was thinking about when I started this thread though.

Really? Wow.

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