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seasun545
Member
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Posted Sat Oct 6th, 2007 5:10pm Post subject: What Do We Want From This?
And to finish with this interview, as I see some people around here shares this same "destructive feature" with me, some other touching words, hopefully, to learn:
S.F: I don´t know whether it´s… there´s a name for it, a name for some pathological inability to project what you´re feeling. (…) But that is the English way. “I´m not going to allow my emotions to go all over you”. Certainly the most destructive, um…vice, if you like, that a person can have, more than pride wich is supposedly the number one of the cardinal sins, is self-pity. I think self-pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have. And the most destructive. It is ,to slightly paraphrase what Wilde said about hatred, and I think that hatred is a subset of self-pity, not the other way around, it destroys everything around it except itself. Self–pity will destroy relationships, it´ll destroy anything that´s good, it will fulfil all the prophecies it makes and leave only itself. It´s so simple to imagine that one is hard done by and the things are unfair and that one is under-appreciated and that if only one had had a chance at this, if only one had had a chance at that things would have gone better, you would be happier. If only this… that one is unlucky… All those things, and some of them may well even be true. But to pitty oneself as a result of them is to do oneself an enormous disservice (…). I almost wanted, once, to publish a self-help book saying “How to be happy” by Stephen Fry. “Guaranteed success”. And people buy this huge book and it´s all blank pages and the first page would just say “Stop feeling sorry for yourself and you will be happy. Use the rest of the book to write down your interesting thoughts and drawings”. That´s what the book would be and it would be true. It sounds like “oh, that´s so simple”. But it´s not simple stop feeling sorry for yourself. It´s bloody hard. Cos we do feel that way. It´s what Genesis is all about.
Amen...
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Saturn
Member
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Posted Sat Oct 6th, 2007 5:19pm Post subject: What Do We Want From This?
Wasn't that in the TSLOTMD documentary?
That all seems very familiar to me.
Anyway sage advice from Mr Fry as ever, but as he says himself, self pity is the hardest thing to shake off.
For me it's not so much the self-pity, I try and avoid that as much as possible, but the self-laceration, the almost brutal self-demolition of my every word and action.
I seems to spend most of my time rehearsing, re-living imaginary conversations of what I should have said to someone and criticizing my self for everything I did say.
I really am terrible to myself, I can never do right for doing wrong, nothing I do is ever good enough, I'm a constant disappointment to myself, never mind others.
If I was religious I'd probably be into flagellation, for this is what this is, the terrible voice inside me telling me I'm a complete loser and that everything I do or say is wrong, it is a veritable mental cat-o-nine-tails stripping me to shreds for no real good reason 
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seasun545
Member
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Posted Sat Oct 6th, 2007 5:49pm Post subject: What Do We Want From This?
That´s from an interview with Marc Lawson, you can find it in YouTube, it´s wonderful, as always Stephen is...just type "Mark Lawson talks to Stephen Fry"
When you say: "I really am terrible to myself..... I'm a constant disappointment to myself, never mind others"....
well, looks like you were in my mind, speaking my own words... I´m my hardest critic too, but I think that´s self-pity too, you feel so bad about yourself cause you´re not good enough for yourself....an endless circle... I´ve got to the point of thinking that people saying nice things to me is silly or blind or I really did my best to deceive them. No other people in this world I envy most than those who seem to be always pleased with themselves and, if not, just moove on and the hell with it...I still hold in my mind silly things I did twenty years ago...unbelievable even for me...
Something we should get rid of, man, as soon as possible, cause it´s a sure path to endless sadness I think...That must be my hardest fight, no doubt, wish I had a pill to get over it, but things are never so easy, unfortunately...
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katysara
Moderator
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Posted Sat Oct 6th, 2007 6:19pm Post subject: What Do We Want From This?
Apparently I am crap at being assertive too. My psychotherapist told me and we are working on it (but not much, I ought to ask him about that)...
Wibble-KSx
Is this the same Psychotherapist that is so crap to you?.
No. My psychotherapist (Tony), is wonderful. My psychiatrist (Dr Wanky) is the crap one, and he is going in 6 weeks. (I have to see him this Tues though :'( )
Wibble-KSx I am an administrator on this site.
"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry
See my website: www.katysaraculling.com
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katysara
Moderator
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Posted Sat Oct 6th, 2007 6:32pm Post subject: What Do We Want From This?
The Mark Lawson interview is at http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=UXpYvf8OVpA It's in 5 parts because Youtube only lets videos of about 10 mins, but all the other parts are easy to see if you go to the above link. I posted about it about a month ago when it appeared. It was also on BBC4 I think, part of the Stephen Fry weekend a while back.
Saturn, I am really worried about you. Something needs to change to get you out of this situation because you can't go on like this. A med change, therapy, I don't know... and I'm not going into details on an open forum.
Everyone take note: someone needs some care and attention!
Wibble-KSx I am an administrator on this site.
"Having a great intellect is no path to being happy."
~ Stephen Fry
See my website: www.katysaraculling.com
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Posted Sun Oct 7th, 2007 9:33am Post subject: What Do We Want From This?
I don't even have bipolar disorder or clinical depression, and yet the last 2 posts by Saturn and Seasun spoke to me. Rehearsing conversations you should have had in particular.
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Posted Sun Oct 7th, 2007 8:27pm Post subject: What Do We Want From This?
Wasn't that in the TSLOTMD documentary?
That all seems very familiar to me.
Anyway sage advice from Mr Fry as ever, but as he says himself, self pity is the hardest thing to shake off.
For me it's not so much the self-pity, I try and avoid that as much as possible, but the self-laceration, the almost brutal self-demolition of my every word and action.
I seems to spend most of my time rehearsing, re-living imaginary conversations of what I should have said to someone and criticizing my self for everything I did say.
I really am terrible to myself, I can never do right for doing wrong, nothing I do is ever good enough, I'm a constant disappointment to myself, never mind others.
If I was religious I'd probably be into flagellation, for this is what this is, the terrible voice inside me telling me I'm a complete loser and that everything I do or say is wrong, it is a veritable mental cat-o-nine-tails stripping me to shreds for no real good reason
You aren't bad. You come onto the forum and you always come over as someone who operates with reason and thought. I don't know about bipolar persons but myself as an anorexic was a constant critic. There is no worse critic than the depressed self. That self-criticism is also more biased and skewed than any that any other critic.
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