Have read the last two posts a few times and can't really make any sense of them at the mo.
If I may attempt an interpretation on this one Maniac.
In my own experience there are two reasons a depressive episode may 'make' me withdraw from society :
1) I get the effects of biological depression such as de-realisation or de-personalisation
( i.e. the room does not feel real, and /or I do not feel real ).
2) The behavioral choices
( I feel afraid, so I choose not to challenge/face the above fears )
What Aoibheann points out is that when he or I feel that
detached from reality, it can be hard to make 'rational' choices due to a lack of any worldly perspective, especially if we are alone.
I think that ChrisB is reminding us that those choices still exist (albeit at a diminished level ) if only we could re-connect to them.
Aoibheann agrees, but admits ( like me ) - that each severe episode is an ongoing lesson in trying to reach back into 'reality' from an altered state - and behavioral modifications are easier said than done when faced with severe feelings of disconnection.
I am advised by my own Consultant and doctor, that choosing to fight the 'altered state' or apathy with some occupational therapy is damn hard, but usually very good at helping one re-connect with 'reality'.
It is however, an ongoing education in trying to find out how and where the grey areas between disconnection and connection join.
I trust that Aoibheann and ChrisB will clarify better.
Your spot on there...
But im a girl.. you said.. 'he'.. silly billy..
I agree F.F with everything your saying....
im not the clearest of people when it comes to things Maniac... sorry.. :-//
I just find that when im in black mood or approching one.. i withdraw a lot, from life in general.. i cry all over the place.. and do destructive things. but i never know if im just retracting myself from my life.. or is it the episode making me do that?
And then when i think about it.. you know.. the usual questions.. 'why am i thinking like this... what is wrong with me....' it leads onto negative thoughts that i try to stay away from because i find they engulf everything, make me even more withdrawn.
And i guess i find that a big cycle.. a big wheel that is difficult to get out of.
Which then plunges me right into the heart of the black mood.. and then im stuck for a long while. So for me its about going throught that episode safely. without getting to far in i wont come out for weeks. you know? Its all about knowing how you feel and i know that is difficult at the best of times. but i think its important, knowing your limits.. that is why i try to stay away from things that will upset me further..
so really in a way.. its good to withdraw... im confusing myself... haha.. sorry... its not the clearest thing to me yet.. so i dont know if im making sence..
I think it is vital that you unwind.. or find a way of doing it.. reading.. going for a walk.. glass of wine, anything at the end of the day to help relax... you know?
Hope i have been even a little helpful..
Im still learning about things.. you know?