STEPHEN FRY

Hello again Caz,

Sadly, the latest NHS 'development' seems to be this idea of being screened by a nurse before being referred to the Psychiatrist. That is why in my first reply, I was delighted to hear that you seemed to be heading straight to the source as it were.

The same thing happened to a friend of mine in another area of Yorkshire a few weeks ago, most frustrating - as my friend had already been enduring uni-polar depression ( with an inappropriate choice of medication) for long time. It ended up with them being referred back to their own G.P, but with more say as to what medication they were given e.t.c.

I have concerns about your Doctor's description of what you would need to have done in order to be considered as potentially Bi-Polar.

The very reason it goes undetected in many of us, is that we manifest the hypo-manic phase more subtly than some.

For that reason alone, my true condition was incorrectly diagnosed for over 30 years. I have it in black and white ( a hospital letter ) that such "flying under the radar" is common.

The only reason mine was eventually detected, is that a junior Consultant asked me to " describe life when I felt well ". After I had told him my merry tales of success, empowerment and joy, he said ;

" That which you have described is not 'well', - it is hypo-manic".

The rest is history...

I never bought a sports car, attempted suicide, got locked up by the police, stripped to my underwear in public or anything as dramatic, but I did seek solace in things which ( upon reflection ) were more self defeating and/ or dramatic than most of the people around me in my workplace and certainly closer in nature to the behaviours that were manifest in those people that I was eventually in hospital with.

I also chose life to look after loved ones, I also never had the money to go as daft as I would have been tempted to.

I am however Bi-Polar II.

I too hope you do not have Bi-Polar Caz, I hope it is a transient period in your life which therapy, counselling and/or a single course of medication can heal, - but if you are Bi-Polar - it is easier to contain if diagnosed in the first few years.

I am sure you expressed yourself as clearly at your doctors as you do here, your referral to the nurse not being because you made yourself misunderstood, - but because it seems to be current NHS policy in certain areas.

Take care of yourself and get some 'Vick' for that chest -

(even better if 'Vic' has a sports car ! ).



F.F.

If it is anything to you, a dear friend of mine finally got to see a "shrink" to be officially diagnosed with Bipolar and the so-called professional turned him away because he "knew too much" about his own condition and was obviously making up his past in order to get attention and waste their time. this idiot then proceeded to tell tell the doctor this and to inform him that *my friend* was probably going to hound him (the doctor) etc.
I know from talking to my friend that this is not a show, that he genuinely has it and that up until the meeting with the idiot psychologist, every other professional he had come in contact with believed he is bipolar.


Im fuming reading your post... I hope you seek a second opinion and get the help you deserve. Dont take no for an answer - some of these "professionals" are thick ejits but not all of them are.

My experience for the first two years, Hightide, was to be told by my psychiatrist "I don't believe in diagnoses, Chris, I believe in treatments". He waited until I had learnt enough to distinguish the small differences between quite similar but unrelated disorders before he would talk in terms of diagnoses.

After this period of time I felt that not only was I interpreting my experiences in terms of the disorders that included the symptoms I experienced, but also took account of the differences those disorders had with my symptoms i.e my experiences.

In addition to the psychiatric treatment and care that he provided during this time, he also enabled me to understand for myself the type of disorder which pervaded for the length of a memory. When he then confirmed my interpretation the result was to know what my experiences had really been.

This was helpful to me.

Chris

Thanks again for the help. I remain calm when I am on the net, but cry like a baby when I see my GP, because I am so desparate for help, but cannot get the words out about how I feel, so for the last 6 ish years i have just done the rounds of going on anti depressants, feeling better after about 6 months, coming off them, feeling ok for a bit, then sinking back down again.
I do have a very stressful , busy life, with my 2 younger kids and 3 year old grandson, who I have helped bring up, as my daughter couldn't cope (she has moved out now with him and her boyfriend) so now I get a bit of peace!
I think my family has helped me to hide my illness, as I kid myself I am "just a housewife with a bit of depression"
I don't have much faith in my GP, as the last time I saw her, her pen was itching to give me some Prozac, but I said no, I want to see how I go without pills for a while. Besides, I have put on 2 stone since January on Sertraline!
Her point about me not being "that ill"-
I have tried to kill myself twice with pills. Never got a single pill down me the first time at 13, as I got so annoyed with a friend, who I hadn't seen for weeks, knocked on the door to bring an LP back, and she scratched it!
Second time, boyfriend made me keep being sick , after I downed about 10 paracetomol and half a bottle of sherry!
I have also imagined jumping in front of a bus, but couldn't put my family through it., (or the driver of the number 47 )
I will make sure EVERYTHING I need to say is written down when I get my appointment, as i have waited till i am 42 to seek proper help, I don't want to waste my chance of getting help.

Hello Caz,

Good idea of yours to write everything down before the appointment(s), I do the same, even many years in. In the early 'drama' of the initial appointments, one tends to forget bits, also during the relative complacency of the later visits. Depression plays havoc with the memory anyway, especially when "put on the spot".

In my own experiences, I found very long term periods of medication ( now permanent ) were needed to stay well. 6 months never cut it for me.

My own G.P. told me a few weeks ago that there is research data to show that the benefits of medication in fact accumulates over years, not months. She reminded me that even on the same dose of effective medication, one would feel much better in 2008 than 2007 and then much better in 2009 than 2008 etc.

I am also a great believer in trying something else if you are not getting reasonably good initial results from a drug after 2-3 months or so. There are so many out there. I tried for 3 years until we settled on the current best. The only bad effect of this is that you are constantly going through withdrawal and 'new drug jitters'. I would therefore urge caution in your initial ( rather delicate state ).

I agree that weight gain can be a problem: ( I don't get it from my anti-depressant, but do from other drugs I have to take ) - but I feel that weight gain is a lesser problem than falling in front of the no. 47 bus !

At least we can still adjust our eating habits and dash around a bit more to lessen that weight gain. I know we still keep some, but it's a worthwhile compromise In my humble opinion.

I really hope that your consultation with the nurse gets you fast access to the Psychiatrist, where you can really 'talk shop' at a prescribing and overall authorising of treatment level.

Take care till then Caz

Best Wishes,

F.F.

people with bi-polar try to kill themselves, and they get bankrupt, or buy racehorses and fancy cars, and have big ideas that get them locked away.
If you had it, we would have known by now, as you would have been locked away or have tried to commit suicide"

grr makes me mad.
Does this mean a person with bipolar who commits suicide or gets locked away, wasn't bipolar during the weeks , months, years before ?[/quote]