It´s been like 20 days feeling like shit, sleeping 12-14 hours a day, no energy at all, absolutely fed up, nothing interests me, can´t see anyone, using same clothes every day, no way to go out (even catching the bus with big big effort one day and finally getting off two stops later cause feeling unable to go on and went back home) and unable to cook or leaving the sofa....I´m looking for job, I need to!, and I was determined to give up searching cause can´t even imagine waking up and go to work 8 hours a day, absolutely unthinkable feeling like this. And to make matter worse, autumn is coming and that always pull me down... So summing up, feeling like a zombie.
I´m having mood-stabs and also sleeping pills cause my shrink insists that I should sleep as much as possible (why do they want us to be like zombies????). Obviously, when you´re sleep you don´t feel anything at all, but, no way to live!!!. I wake up at 7 or 8 in the morning and have to go back to bed at 12 or 13h for two or three hours more of sleeping cause I feel absolutely exhausted and even feel legs´ and arms´ stiffness.
So a couple of days ago (my shrink is on holidays, coudn´t talk to him) I decided to stop having sleeping pills, and now I´m sleeping much worse, of course, but I´m full of energy and cheered up and energy has come back. I think I´ve triggered the beginning of an hypomanic mood just leaving the sleeping pills. I know that´s no good but...what can I say, thanks god!
So, I was wondering, what does trigger manic or hypomanic moods for you?? Having/leaving pills or social-environment circumstances too?
Have you ever felt so so so fed up of being depressed that you have conciously given up your pills to bring an hypomanic mood up, so badly you missed it? Does BP people become addicted to manic-hypomanic moods??
As always, any comment will be very appreciated...thanks guys.
