But worse I feel I have been lied to. I am not gay. I am not comfortable with the mainstream HIV culture. I do not want to be HIV. I just want my life back. I do not want any of those people around me that only want to help, but really expect me to drop dead any time.
When I was diagnosed in 89 at the Kobler Centre in London, I was told I'd be dead within 5 years. The shock of this death sentence resulted in sever depression and some suicide attempts. I really do not know how I managed to get through this most difficult period in my life.
Then doctors where trying to recruit me for various trials. Some of them made me sick. So I stopped participating. And somehow began to reclaim my life. I stayed away from places like THT and the Kobler. And guess what: I did not become sick or die.
There are many many more like me. At first I was told that I am sort of genetic mutant with HIV resistant genes. Well it seems I am not the only. Recently in New York I attended a meeting of long term survivors. All healthy. Most never on any ARV.
I remember all the sick patients at the Kobler in the early 90's. AIDS really exists. But over the years I became what is now a taboo word: an AIDS dissident.
Just questioning the current HIV=AIDS hypothesis is considered herecy. Asking questions is not accepted bevaviour in todays HIV culture.
I also want to stress one important point being an AIDS dissident. An AIDS dissident does not deny the existence of AIDS. Many argue that AIDS dissidents deny the existence of AIDS. That is not true. AIDS exists. Its a terrible condition and I have seen people die of AIDS.
But AIDS dissidents argue that HIV on its own can not be the cause of AIDS. And these arguments are not brought forward by quacks. They are brought forward by reputable scientists, noble price awardees, highly educated individuals who can back their claims.
After more than 20 years of living with HIV I find myself healthier than ever, yet society has decided to declare me and many others some modern day outcast. Governments run campaigns to reduce the Stigma atatched to HIV/AIDS, yet at the same time many countries won't issue work permits to those found HIV+.
After 20 years of living with HIV I am more than ever convinced that HIV is not causing AIDS. For many years I considered both sides of the argument. And Gallo's claims simply do not make sense to me.
I want my life back. I want scientists like Gallo to finally put forward the proof that HIV is causing AIDS. At best the can proof correlation. But that is not the same as causation.
I am asking you Stephen Fry to help me and all those other silent HIV+ but perfectly healthy people out there who suffer silently. How have sleepless nights, contempleting suicide, not knowing where to turn to.
If you want to verify my identity, please get in touch. I am a real person but It is not HIV that is killing me. It is the ignorance that exists in the public, fraud and corupt science and journalists that have stopped asking real questions.
