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Hanny


Member

Posted Tue Nov 27th, 2007 2:39pm Post subject: Getting Overheated
i really enjoy a good debate with someone and have never disliked anyone because of what there opinion is- i would only change my mind about someone if they treated me badly because of my opinions, not because i dont agree with them.
everyone thinks differently and if someone cant have a debate with someone else about different opinions without arguements or fighting then life will become quite difficult!!

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RighthoJeeves


Member

Posted Tue Nov 27th, 2007 5:14pm Post subject: Getting Overheated
Good points there, I guess at the end of the day it just depends on who you hang around the most and what you choose to dissuss with them. My husband is into politics, he cant wait to be a citizen so he can vote here in the US ( he is Welsh) he was apart of just about every British party going in the Uk at some point , stood as a candidate in a few, he isnt the type who sticks to party just because of tradition or whatever, he goes on what they are saying and what seems right to him. Getting him into a debate about religion or politics you may not ever get him to stop On the otherhand my Dad is quite sensitve when it comes to anything regarding personal medical issues, talking about a stomach ache made him quesy and growing up, things like sex was never a topic of discussion and today with all his kids married things like that still are.
I guess you just have to know your audiance as it were. Its true a stanger on the bus you can talk about things and you may not ever see them again therefore if they thought " What rot" you dont ever know and so its no matter to you.

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Nitro


Member

Posted Sun Nov 9th, 2008 2:24am Post subject: Getting Overheated
I am trying to catch up with the site and being over a year behind everyone else, or most others here maybe, I'm sorry if resurrecting an old thread irritates anyone.

I just read "Getting Overheated" and the bigger point(s) aside, I noticed that the fairly long list of comments made on this 'blessay' that the 'Jim' Mr.Fry references in said 'blessay' decided to post his own side of that evening. That was in September and it's currently November. The tone of his reply didn't strike me as someone who was going to procrastinate about that. So, now I can't help but wonder if he really didn't care enough to do so or was he prevented from doing so from the admin here?

I'd also like to address the subject of heated debate being less well recieved over here than in the UK. First, I've never visited every country in the UK, only England. And I have to say that an unwillingness to debate, or even sometimes just talk, is something that has proved true in many places I've traveled.

For Mr.Fry's impression on Americans being resistant to it, I would point out that there's a common quote made that I heard repeatedly while growing up : Don't discuss religion or politics. The implication being that if you did, relationships could be put at real risk. If you lived in a very rural area where the help or assitance of a neighbor was important, particularly during Winter, risking alienating them simply to hold your ground on viewpoint was, in the scope of things, not worth the risk of needing them after you've created a gigantic rift. We also hear "Don't burn your bridges behind you."

Hearing that from forever though, never did stop me very much. But then, I can be very emphatic with my own viewpoint. And I'm proably being nice to myself there. Still, I've run across enough people who could divorce their emotions, so to speak, from spilling overmuch into the general tone of the conversation to avoid a seriously foul mood destroying even the attempt at having a discussion to begin with.

On the other hand, I have been around English folk who absolutely did not want to talk about much of anything. OK, I'll nod to the fact that being an American and knowing a little bit of our stereotyping of being prone to violence over trivial offenses or misunderstandings might have toned down their own discourse around me. But, this falls apart a little because even with my English friends and their friends what I experienced were people who did like to talk about 'hot' topics and people who did not. And at no point have I, to date, made any generalization about the English regarding 'debate'. I've been pinned to the mat by some and others I could barely get a return reply from when simply saying,"Good Morning." X-D

I can understand, though, being the visitor and feeling like not knowing when it's socially acceptable to let down your guard and when it's not. That can be a little tough when at someone else's dinner table, particularly people you don't know very well.

But wouldn't that be true just about anywhere?

Really? Wow.

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